WTF Florida: Man Arrested For Drug Dealing Tells Officers His Occupation is "Drug Dealer" | Riptide 2.0 | Miami | Miami New Times | The Leading Independent News Source in Miami, Florida
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WTF Florida: Man Arrested For Drug Dealing Tells Officers His Occupation is "Drug Dealer"

A lot of weird things happen in Florida. We're here every Friday morning to give you the week's weirdest...
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A lot of weird things happen in Florida. We're here every Friday morning to give you the week's weirdest.

Naked Woman Masturbates, Throws Tantrum on Car Hood

Last Sunday, Orlando police received reports that Amie Carter, 31, was walking around residential streets buck naked. Police arrived to find her high on a "heavy unknown substance," and when they tried to subdue her, the nude Carter kicked her legs at the officers.

After putting the pieces together, police determined that Carter stopped a Lexus in the middle of the street and the masturbated in front of the couple inside. She then climbed up on the car's hood and began jumping around, throwing a tantrum, and throwing a cell phone at a car behind the Lexus. All-in-all she caused about $1,500 in damage. She now faces charges of criminal mischief and exposure of sexual organs.

This is not the first time such an incident has happened in Florida:

Arrested Man Tells Police to List his Occupation as "Drug Dealer"

Well, if you're arrested for drug dealing, you might as well tell police the truth when they ask for your occupation. A West Palm Beach resident Robert Michael Phillips was arrested last Tuesday after a series of events that started with him cutting of an unmarked police car. A records check determined that the car was stolen, and the officer continued following Phillips until he witnessed the man conduct a hand-to-hand transaction.

Finally two marked police cars approached Phillips, but he led them on a high speed chase. He then parked at a Michael's Craft store, ran into the store while knocking over a woman on the way, and dropping his handgun. He was arrested when he tried to run out of the back of the store. A later search found crack cocaine and heroin on his person and in the car. After all that, Phillips apparently decided he had nothing to lose by telling police his full-time job was dealing drugs.

Airport with No International Flights Tries to Rename Itself as an International Airport, County Commission Shuts It Down

Officials at the Northwest Florida Regional Airport decided that they wanted to rename themselves the Northwest Florida International Airport. This despite the fact that the airport doesn't have a single international flight. The airport's director said that international "evokes modern" while regional is associated with "small and unsophisticated." A consultant, meanwhile, tried to tell the county commission that the name is just a "marketing tool." To be fair, to most marketing professionals there really is no difference between "lying" and "marketing." At the end of the day, though, the commission just decided to rename the airport the Destin-Ft. Walton Beach Airport.

Mother Leaves 3-Year-Old Alone in Liquor Store While She Hides a Gun

'Hey, baby, can you be a good girl for me while mommy goes and tries to hide this gun mommy's boyfriend just accidentally shot himself in the leg with?'

Stefanie Felicia Stern, 28 of Deerfield, was arrested earlier this week following a December 22nd incident that basically boiled down to that exchange with her kid. Stern was in a liquor store with the child and her boyfriend, Reginald Leon Lee, 34. Lee got into an argument with another customer and chased the man outside with a gun.

When he returned to the store, he fumbled while trying to put the gun back in his pants but accidentally shot himself in the leg. Lee and Stern then ran out of the store to try and hide the gun in a nearby alleyway, all while leaving the child in the store. Stern now faces charges of child neglect without great bodily harm and tampering with evidence

Mom Arrested for Trying to Seduce Cadre of Teenage Boy Babysitters

Jennifer Espinoza, 28, had a rotation of teenage boys that she employed to babysit her young children, but apparently she had more in mind. She sent the boys text messages saying she wanted to "rock the cradle" and perform sexual acts. The Osceola County woman somehow wound up in a motel room with the four boys and touched them inappropriately, but as it turned out, the boys said they weren't interested in anything sexual with Espinoza. Once arrested, Espinoza said she was "just messing with" the boys, but had been abusing alcohol and cocaine lately. She faces three counts of lewd and lascivious molestation.


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