WTF Florida Friday: What Is Your "WTF Florida" Name?
Illustration by Alvaro Diaz-Rubio
A lot of weird things happen in Florida. We're here every Friday morning to give you the week's weirdest.
This week: a special guide to find your "WTF Florida name" in honor of Ms. Cherries Waffles Tennis, a missing corpse, and Seinfeld phobia.
Woman Named Cherries Waffles Tennis Exists, is Arrested
A woman up in Jupiter was arrested for buying a speargun with a fraudulent credit card or some sort of boring run-of-the-mill Florida-ness like that.
The real news is that her name is Cherries Waffles Tennis. Which is not so much a name as it is the result of her parents opening pages in the dictionary randomly and naming their daughter after whatever words their fingers landed on. Ever wonder what would have happened if your parents would have done the same? Luckily we're here to help. Literally, we just thought up a bunch of words, hit "randomize" and came up with this handy chart.
Find your first name listed by your real first initial here. We've divided them into male and female sections, but do be afraid to ditch the gender binary if you see fit.
Then do the same with your middle and last initial here.
Mine's Skyblue Trucknuts Shower! What's yours?
Family Finds Wrong Body in Mother's Casket
The only thing that can make losing your mother worse is someone actually losing your mother.
Grieving family members showed up at Stevens Brothers Funeral Home in West Palm Beach for Mary Anderson's viewing last week and found another woman in her casket wearing her clothes instead.
The funeral home apologized and said that they had mixed her up with another woman named "Mary."
Uh, Mary is a pretty common old lady name. If they had mixed up Cherries Waffles Tennis with Cherries Brisket Sunscreen we might understand, but this is just negligent.
Florida Man Concerned Seinfeld Episode Will Repeat Itself in Florida
Seinfeld was a popular '90s sitcom in which the characters' relatively minute gripes and problems spawn hilarious fantastical outcomes. That's the joke. It starts with these very relatable set-ups, and then 30 minutes later everything is ridiculous.
Up in a Tampa-area beach, Will Root noticed a couple that was tee-ing up and hitting golfballs into the Gulf of Mexico, so he decided to, uh, tell a local news station about it (actually the point of Bay News 9 even running this story is unclear).
His reasoning: "I hate to see that Seinfeld episode repeated."
Um, that episode is repeated about every other week on TBS. That's how scripted TV works. It stays on the TV, not in real life.
No word if there was a real marine biologist on hand during the incident.
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