WTF Florida Friday: A Quadruple Amputee Suspected of Murder and On the Run

WTF Florida Friday: A Quadruple Amputee Suspected of Murder and On the Run
Illustration by Alvaro Diaz-Rubio

A lot of weird things happen in Florida. We're here every Friday morning to give you the week's weirdest.

This week Florida re-elected Rick Scott to serve a second term as governor, because in this era of big-money politics, even the strangest things are possible. But some other weird things happened this week too, including a man with no legs or hands who's armed and on the run.

Florida Fireman Uses Firehouse as His Personal Porn Studio

Clearwater Fire Lt. Stephen Coward had a thing for taping his sexual encounters. Which, OK, fair enough. First problem: He was using a firehouse as his set. Second problem: His costars were not his wife.

City officials found out about Coward's cinematic extracurricular activities when they received a package containing an anonymous letter and a disk with video of at least one of the encounters. A second witness said Coward might have had sex with up to eight women at the firehouse, including in the weight room and in a truck. The bad lieutenant was confronted. He admitted to the misdeeds and promptly resigned.

WTF Florida Friday: A Quadruple Amputee Suspected of Murder and On the Run
via Indian River County Sheriff's Office

42-Year-Old Woman Tells Cop She's 22, Claims to Have a Disease That Makes Her Age Fast

Jennifer R. Crosby was driving her Ford Ranger in Indian River County with a broken taillight. A sheriff's deputy pulled her over and asked for ID. Crosby said she had forgotten her purse at home and was without an ID. So she said she was Christina R. Topp, gave her birth year as 1992, and provided a social security number. Given that Crosby was a 43-year-old woman, the deputy was suspicious. Her explanation: she has a disease that makes her age faster.

Pro tip: If you're going to come up with a fake disease, at least make up a legit-sounding name for it, like Kravel's disease or Lohan disorder.

The cop ran the information, and a picture of a woman who was definitely 22 and decidedly not Crosby came up.

Kicker #1: Crosby admitted she lied because she was driving with a suspended license. Kicker #2: Topp was actually Crosby's daughter. Crosby was arrested for driving with a suspended license.

 

WTF Florida Friday: A Quadruple Amputee Suspected of Murder and On the Run

Quadruple Amputee Person of Interest in Parents' Murder

Nancy Petrozzino, 64, and Michael Petrozzino, 63, were found dead inside their Orange County home Tuesday, and police soon named their son Sean Petrozzino, 30, as the main person of interest. Petrozzino lost both legs and hands to meningitis but wears prosthetic legs.

His disabilities don't impede him from participating in activities such as driving a car, hiding from police, and allegedly murdering his parents. Police say the younger Petrozzino was last seen in a 2012 Toyota Camry, and they believe the handless man to be armed. Police also say he might be in Palm Beach or Broward County.

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