Jennifer Carroll resigned yesterday amid scandal. Gov. Rick Scott has announced he will hold off on choosing a replacement until after the current legislative session, at which point the Cardinals of the Republican Party of Florida will convene at the governor's mansion and meet in secret. Florida will know it has a new lieutenant governor when the Republicans shoot a barrage of white semiautomatic-assault-riffle bullets through the mansion's chimney.
Or, more likely, Scott will just pick Carroll's replacement on his own. Whatever the case, the selection will come as Scott prepares for his re-election in earnest, and will likely be used to highlight a new direction for the highly unpopular administration. Several names are being thrown about as possible picks. We've gathered the most buzzworthy:
State Sen. Anitere Flores
- A rising star in the party, this young Cuban-American legislator from Miami is the kind of politician who makes Republicans see starbursts.
- Because Republicans have trouble courting female and minority voters, some see it as important to shore up their support by placing a female minority in an office that has no constitutional power whatsoever.
- Flores has the potential to be the next big political power out of Miami-Dade. She's basically like Marco Rubio but without a combover and more appropriate water-drinking habits.
Former State Sen. Ellyn Bogdanoff
- The business community loves her, and Scott loves the business community. In the Senate, she voted to privatize just about anything she could and was one of the chief sponsors of the Genting Corp-backed bill to expand gambling in Florida.
- Sure, her daughter was arrested on drug and burglary charges, but the adorable criminal exploits of Jeb Bush's brood never seemed to hurt their father's career. Why should it hold Bogdanoff back?
- She represented a district in voter-rich Broward County. Scott got 34 percent of the vote there in 2010. With Bogdanoff on the ticket, some speculate he could get as high as 35 percent in 2014.
State Sen. Jack Latvala
- Sources close to Scott say the popular moderate from Clearwater could help Scott by appealing to independents and voters in the Tampa Bay area.
- His impressive beard would also add balance to the ticket in the crucial "amount of hair on head" factor.
- He's known for opposing his own party, which should also help with scoring votes in the small but crucial voting bloc of sane Floridians.
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- Crowley Political Report floats the name of Bill McCollum, the man Scott beat in the 2010 Republican primary, as a possible replacement. The pairing would be awkward at best.
- Though, his vast experience in losing statewide races (twice for U.S. Senate, once for governor) would be an asset to Scott when he inevitably writes his concession speech.