The World Cup is only three days away, yet the buzz in America hasn't been about our boys beating Nigeria in our final warmup match over the weekend. Instead, everyone keeps talking about how American soccer fans are full of shit. The New York Times says we're a bunch of hipsters. The Wall Street Journal says we're "the most derivative, excessive and utterly ridiculous collection of sports fans on the planet," mocking us for calling the game fútbol.
Of course, most Miamians do call it fútbol -- not because they're ridiculous Eurowanabee hipsters but because their parents fled some dictatorship in Latin America. (Thanks WSJ!)
All the navel-gazing does raise a good question, however. What kind of fans are here in Miami? Do they root for their birthplace of Brazil, Colombia, or Spain? Or do they side with their adopted American identity? Let's find out.
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Keep reading to vote for who you think will actually win the tournament.