January 22, 2010 | 2:58pm
It's Conference Championship weekend, meaning the teams that get to pack their bags for Miami are decided on Sunday. For a depressing 16th year in a row our Miami Dolphins aren't in the running, and as Gus mentioned yesterday we could really care less about who wins. But we will have to deal with their drunken fans in the first weekend of February so we might as well start preparing now.
AFC Championship: Indianapolis Colts vs New York Jets
Here is why we really want to see the Colts win: so we can hang signs all over town proclaiming "Miami: Home of the Only NFL Team Who Had the Balls to Go Undefeated." No, but seriously thank you Colts for dropping that game. That '72 season is really all we have to hold onto here in Fins nations.
Besides, who the hell are we going to root for? Those East Rutherford Jets? A team so classy that their owner is offsetting
the pain of losing a dead daughter (that one that Tila Tequila is always crying about on twitter) with the joy of seeing his team's success in the post-season.
Yeah, yeah as some have pointed out it would look good for the Dolphins, in a round about way, in the Jets won the Super Bowl considering we beat them both times in the regular season. Because as we all know the NFL sends a trophy to any team that beats the champs twice in the regular season, parades are held, t-shirts are printed, and a new roof on Sunkist Capri Sun Sun Life stadium magically assembles itself.
NFC Championship: Minnesota Vikings vs New Orleans Saints
The last time the Dolphins had made it this far in the play-offs? The '93-'94 season, just over a year after Hurricane Andrew. Now here come the Saints, just four years after their home town was destroyed by Katrina. It's hard not to sympathize, and they're the feel good bet for the rest of the nation to root for. Plus New Orleanians know how to party, which is always welcome in this town, and more than we can say for those Minnesotans.
Oh, those Minnesotans. So excited to finally have stolen Brett Favre from their neighbors in Wisconsin. That sonofabitch has made a career out of breaking Dan Marino's records, but there is one he's currently tied with Marino for that we'd be more than happy to see him own outright: Career playoff losses as starting QB. He's also tied with former Miami Hurricanes QB Jim Kelly for most interceptions thrown in the play-offs. So Miami should really, really enjoy seeing Favre make history in this game.