There are just so many bizarre features at the new Marlins Park that apparently we in the media haven't been able to keep up with all the insanity. Like, did you even know that the stadium includes a Bobblehead Museum? Seriously, there are 588 different bobbleheads encased behind glass, and the shelves they sit on rumble just enough so that all the bobbleheads continually bobble their heads forever and ever until the end of time.
On one hand it's kind of cool. On the other, staring at it a bit too much could be unsettling.
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Are you bobbleheads judging me? What does that headbob mean exactly? Is that a yes or a no? Do you guys think, like, I'm a cool guy? What's that, Hideki Matsui? Is that a no? Whatever. Whatever. Babe Ruth seems to think I'm cool. Hank Aaron thinks I'm super cool! Look at him bobble! Wait, why is that other Hank Aaron barely moving? Do you not think I'm cool other Hank Aaron? Are you guys even listening to me? Hate you guys. Gonna go look at the fish now. They don't judge me.