In a story straight out of a twisted fever dream shared by Michael Bay and Aaron Sorkin -- not to mention the sick fantasies of thousands of catastrophe-seeking journalists everywhere -- Tropical Storm Isaac looks more likely than ever to strengthen into a hurricane just in time to bear down on Tampa Monday evening. Which happens to be the same night the Republican National Convention's first big round of speeches is slated to kick off.
Can we beat Pat Robertson to the punch here and suggest all of this is God's divine punishment for the GOP giving Gov. Rick Scott a prime-time speaking spot Monday?
If the sheer fact that a hurricane -- a hurricane! -- is on track to whack the RNC on its opening night isn't enough fun on its own, there's also a fight brewing between Tampa's Democratic mayor and the convention planners over what to do about it.
Mayor Bob Buckhorn has said he'd call off the convention if Tampa is seriously threatened, but this morning the RNC's communications director says, "There is no such thing as canceling."
As usual, there's probably way more hysteria over Isaac at this point than the storm warrants. The only thing forecasters really know for sure about the storm is that it'll linger over Puerto Rico today before heading through Hispaniola and then Cuba.
After that, Isaac's path and intensity are still a guessing game. Various computer projections have the storm spinning east of Florida, going west and ravaging Tampa, and even staying to the south and heading to Mexico.
But the forecasters' best guess at this point has Isaac hugging the west coast and getting to Tampa at hurricane strength Monday.
What would that mean for Republicans?
Well, Buckhorn claims that an evacuation order for the city would mean killing the convention plan.
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But RNC spokesman Sean Spicer tells Politico this morning that the party has "contingency plans" and won't cancel.
As for what exactly those plans are, Spicer refused to say. The GOP must be keeping them in the same lockbox as Mitt Romney's tax returns.