Top Ten Sports Cheaters of All Time: From Steroid-Pumpers to Ball-Grabbers

Soccer player Vinnie Jones executing a clever "ball tackle"
Soccer player Vinnie Jones executing a clever "ball tackle"

For more than a week, Riptide has brought you the shady plays that have turned Krop High School into a basketball powerhouse: recruiting players, inventing addresses, changing official records, and -- of course -- threatening journalists.

The truth is, these tactics are often a hell of a lot more effective than merely practicing lay-ups and pick-and-rolls. Until you get caught, at least.

So in honor of Krop coach Shakey Rodriguez, we're bringing you our list of the top ten sports cheaters of all time. Bon appe-cheat!

10. Vinnie Jones
Before starring as a hit-man in Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels, Jones was notorious for being a bruiser on the soccer pitch. Here he gives Paul Gascoigne's chestnuts a clandestine fondle while the referee isn't looking. Classy.
Shady scale: 0.5/10

9. Pete Rose
Pete Rose was a great hitter, a poor dresser, and an incorrigible gambler. When ol' Charlie Hustle retired in 1986 with an MLB-record 4,256 hits, most of us thought he was going to don some white tennis shoes and retire to... well... Florida. Instead, he went into management only to admit in 2007 that he bet on the Cincinatti Reds "every night" while at the helm.
Shady scale: 2/10
Note: Rose claims to have always bet on the Reds winning.

8. New England Patriots "Spy Gate"
Ok. Maybe we just hate the Patriots, or Tom Brady's perfect life and immaculately styled mane of hair. But it's pretty low to stoop to video taping an opposing team's signals in order to get ahead. That's exactly what Bill Belichick and the Patriots were caught doing in 2007, leading to a massive $750,000 fine and forfeiture of a first-round draft pick.
Shady scale: 4/10

Would this guy lie? Well, judging by the company...
Would this guy lie? Well, judging by the company...
wikimedia commons

7. Lance Armstrong
Need we say more? Allegations of cycling shenanigans have dogged the seven-time Tour de France champion for more than a decade, but nothing has ever been proven. Last year, however, former teammate and disgraced tour winner Floyd Landis told Nightline that he knew for a fact that Armstrong cheated. If true, it would be a real kick in the crotch to all us suckers who bought those goddamn yellow bracelets.
Shady scale: 5/10
Note: There's always the chance that he's telling the truth.

6. Danny Almonte
Back in 2001, "12"-year-old Dominican-born pitching sensation Danny Almonte took the Little League World Series by storm. He was the Randy Johnson of the little leagues, with a fastball to make any pre-teen crap his pants. The only problem was: he wasn't a pre-teen himself. He was nearly old enough to drive. After helping his Bronx team to a third-place finish, Almonte was revealed to be two years too old (14) for the tournament.
Shady scale: 6.5/10
Note: Although pretty damn shady, most of the blame falls on his even shadier coaches.

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