Top Ten Reasons
10. You can visit your country's money in our Brickell Avenue banks.
9. You already own a condo here, your kids are enrolled in our private schools, and your wife shops at Bal Harbour.
8. Tickets to Sabado Gigante.
7. In exchange for free lunch at the Little Havana Activities and Nutrition Center, our viejos will flood radio call-in shows, swing elections, and train as many right-wing commandos as you need.
6. Our cafeterías will remind you of home.
5. Miami's income gap may not be as wide as your country's, but still we're proud to be America's Poorest City.
4. The Port of Miami hasn't had a major corruption scandal in several years. At the airport it's been at least two weeks.
3. All the choice escorts from your country are already here, promoting the Flesh Trade Area of the Americas.
2. Our automatic-teller machines almost always pay out the dollar amount you request.
1. And the number-one reason: Miami's skilled workforce and high-tech business infrastructure. Seriously, though, the weather's great in January.
Get the This Week's Top Stories Newsletter
Every week we collect the latest news, music and arts stories — along with film and food reviews and the best things to do this week — so that you’ll never miss Miami New Times' biggest stories.
- Bill Advances That Would Ban Red Light Cameras in Florida
Thu., Feb. 11, 7:00pm
Fri., Feb. 12, 7:30pm
Sat., Feb. 13, 6:00pm
Sat., Feb. 13, 7:00pm
- Facebook Killer Derek Medina Gets Life in Prison, Vows to Sue Entire World
- Marco Rubio's Friend Didn't Know About Gay Porn House, Site's Owner Says