Thanks to the cackling eight-year-old child making poop jokes inside the minds of all Floridians, Riptide hit the mother lode last week. We made a Freedom of Information Act request for a list of all the objectionable personalized license plates reviewed by state officials in the last few years, and boy oh boy did you immature, sex-obsessed, puerile drivers come through.
In the next couple weeks we'll be releasing the full list of 2,000-plus obscene plates, organized by subject matter. (Look for the several dozen pimp-and-ho themed plates next week.) In the meantime, click through for illustrated versions of five of our favorites.
Yes, these are all real plates requested by real Florida drivers -- and, shockingly, shot down by the License Plate Review Board. (We have taken some liberties by choosing an appropriate specialty plate for each ...)
5. Sound it out ...
4. For those drivers who want every speeding ticket to end with a taser to the crotch.
3. The ultimate middle finger to the Jesus fish sticker.
2. What, you've never driven behind a chimpanzee on the MacArthur Causeway? Are you sure?
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1. When his request was rejected, Scott Storch sold his Maybach for coke money.