Today in Silly Foriegn Sports News
First off, some Australian rules football star named Mr. Wayne Carey reached a plea deal in an assault case he got himself entwined with during a visit to Miami about a year ago. He was charged with elbowing and kicking some of Miami's finest, but ultimately the officers involved agreed to letting him walk. So back down under he goes.
But wait, it comes on the same day that plans for a possible new MLS franchise in Miami, backed by Spanish soccer club FC Barcelona, were anounced. Because it worked so well the last time! I know I still have my Fusion jersey (because I bought it for 50 cents at a Goodwill).
Don't you see though? We should have kept Carey here and forced him to play on this MLS team to pay off his debt to society. Wait? Australian rules football isn't the same thing as soccer? Uhhhhh, whatever. He's probably better at soccer than half the players in the MLS anyway.
Get the This Week's Top Stories Newsletter
Every week we collect the latest news, music and arts stories — along with film and food reviews and the best things to do this week — so that you’ll never miss Miami New Times' biggest stories.