The Week That Was: We Metaphorically or Literally All Lost Body Parts
- The week started out with news that Miami was the second worst place to raise your kid. Unfortunately a stabbing at Coral Gables High proved that. In the wake of that tragedy YouTube videos surfaced that showed the school's courtyard had a history of violence. Oh, and a camera man got kicked in the stomach.
- Everyone has been loosing there heads over ACORN, and the girl who posed as a hooker to bring the nefarious anti-poverty group down is an FIU student. Her dad also happens to be a spirited pastor who is definitely not "a fat, black lesbian that hates hunting."
- In news straight out of your nightmare: a man lost his penis, and the Everglades' pythons could morph into unstoppable mutants.
- There might be something funny about Hialeah councilwoman's Katherine Cue's residence, and we don't mean her decor scheme. The guy running against her has problems of his own.
- We went to the City of Miami Mayoral debate. Everyone lost.
- Kimbo Slice had his arm sliced off by a caterpillar. Hey, if his Ultimate Fighter thing doesn't work out maybe he can wrestle at WrestleMania ...if it comes to Miami.
- Tim Hardaway made nicey nice with gay people, and then promptly had his jersey retired. This is probably because no decision involving clothes, even if it is a jersey, can be made with out consent of the gays.
- Happy 25th Anniversary Miami Vice. Here's to all you've done for us, and your kookie guest stars.
Get the This Week's Top Stories Newsletter
Every week we collect the latest news, music and arts stories — along with film and food reviews and the best things to do this week — so that you’ll never miss Miami New Times' biggest stories.
- Former Hurricane Brett Romberg Calls Jonathan Martin "A Piece of Garbage"
Thu., Sep. 3, 6:35pm
Fri., Sep. 4, 11:30am
Fri., Sep. 4, 6:35pm
Sat., Sep. 5, 11:30am
- There Are a Lot More Educated Young Women in Miami Than Men (Which Is Why You're Single)
- The Sane (but Sort of Lazy) Person's Guide to Early Hurricane Preparation