The Week That Was: Sorry, Too Busy With Our Red Hot Pokers To Volunteer
Allegedly foul-mouthed Herald reporter Carol Rosenberg sure pissed off a Navy Commander Jeff Gordon with insinuations about shoving red hot pokers up his ass, for fun!, or something. They both seem like jerks in this situation, but who is the bigger jerk: Gordon or Rosenberg? This is not to say jerks can't be fine reporters or navy commanders, though.
- We are the laziest city in America when it comes to volunteering. For shame. Can't we follow this guys lead? Whatever, we are probably too busy growing indoor pot to volunteer.
- Michael Vick will not be playing in Miami, which, if you ask us is a good thing. Lamar Odom won't be playing in Miami either, which is probably a not such a good thing. Satchel Paige did play in Miami, and it was a very interesting thing.
- That super discounted PS3 you found on Craigslist: it is probably just someone trying to rob you. On the plus side: it's like having a real life Grand Theft Auto experience.
- We uncovered a devious Soviet plot this week on Miami Social.
- We are pretty sure every gym in Miami, at one point or another, has employed someone who's done gay porn, but is it appropriate at the Police Athletic League? Speaking of employment appropriateness, when is it cool to hire the Mayor's campaign manager? Can we hire the Mayor's campaign manager to do gay porn?
- 41 South Floridians have been charged for mortgage fraud.
- We prepared a cute gift basket for the City of Miami's 113th b-day.
- Mr. Clucky did not have a very good week in court. Can't a cock catch a break?
Get the This Week's Top Stories Newsletter
Every week we collect the latest news, music and arts stories — along with film and food reviews and the best things to do this week — so that you’ll never miss Miami New Times' biggest stories.