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Obama was actually inaugurated! And one of those three billion people in attendance was a New Times writer! Most of us just watched in the conference room, though. Outgoing president Bush has left us speechless (in a bad way), but nut nearly as much as Aretha's hat (in a good way).
- Git'mo! Git'mo! Git'mo! Literally. First there was the SNL Sketch, then Obama halted trials, then he actually signed the order to close down Guantanamo, then Politico asked 'but, does this mean anything?'
- Fidel is actually not dying, which is good news for the newspaper, as they forgot how to cover it anyway.
- Mickey Rourke got nom nom nominated for an Oscar, but might be working for peanuts in Iron Man 2: Pig In the City.
- The Pro-Lifers rose a "Mission Accomplished" banner on the USS Krispy Kreme.
- Dwyane Wade's soon-to-be ex-wifey is saying he gave her some sort of STD.
- 85,000 of us will be fired by year's end. Meanwhile, Rudy Crew could be hired in Texas.
- Gather round, and hear a story or two from Miami's most delightful pimp.