The Week That Was: Alberto Cutié Married the Cat Killer
Riptide had an insane week, and in case you missed anything, here are all the highlights. Perhaps you can use them to make small talk with your dad on Father's day.
- 18 year-old Tyler Weinman was arrested and charged with being the notorious cat killer. He may have been brought down by his own Facebook and MySpace pages -- places his friends often came to discuss his poop-blowing up habit. But police may need to get all CSI on the case to get a conviction.
- Alberto Cutié got married, and as a wedding present may have had his new wife's ex locked up. According to a lawsuit anyway.
- A man tried to steal $14 trillion from the IRS. Somehow he didn't get away with it, and has been indicted.
- PETA managed to jump on the cat killer bandwagon and the titties of Che Guevara's granddaughter in 24 hour time span.
- Brooke Hogan had a lesbian kiss for her reality show, while real lesbians will have their own Miami-set reality program. Also, could a rumored Real Housewives of Miami feature the series first drag queen and lesbian?
- What is more surprising to find out: that smugglers are hiding cocaine in shark bodies or that Mexico has a navy?
- Marco Rubio got endorsed by Senator Wingnuts McCrazy, and turned his back on the Spanish language because of it. Meanwhile, all the liberals want to trick you into believing he's the Republican Barack Obama.
- Chicken lovers of Miami Beach are not going down without a feathered fight.
- Miami is no longer home to the angriest drivers in America. Maybe this will be good for our car insurance.
- The reverberations of the Iran election fiasco hit Miami, where we are no strangers to election fiascos ourselves.
- SoBe Entertainment is going to sue wrestler The Big Show into submission.
- Shouldn't the Miami Dolphins theme song be written by Miami natives and not this Jimmy Buffet character who is of course the leader of the dangerous Parrot Head cult?
- RIP Janet Reno High.
- Someone keep Republicans from Texas away from Twitter before they hurt themselves.
Get the This Week's Top Stories Newsletter
Every week we collect the latest news, music and arts stories — along with film and food reviews and the best things to do this week — so that you’ll never miss Miami New Times' biggest stories.