The sports world is in full freak-out mode over Marlins shortstop Hanley Ramirez displaying legendary laziness in botching a play and then lashing out at manager Fredi Gonzalez for benching him. Never before have scribes busted out this many synonyms for half-ass performance -- loafing, lollygagging, trotting, dogging it -- and their real wrath comes out over his refusal to apologize.
That said, thinking yo' shit don't stank is a well-known symptom of the modern millionaire ballplayer, and we've had our share of cleat-wearing divas in South Florida. Here are South Florida's most arrogant athletes in recent memory:
5. Gary Sheffield
Sheff is one of those players who look at baseball purely as a business -- and the slugger knows his value. Since leaving the Marlins ten years ago, the Tampa native has become notorious for his uncensored comments and pulling such stunts as sitting out games when not given a contract extension.
It makes us nostalgic to think that he first started publicly acting like an asshole in our sleepy hamlet. As a young third baseman with a new contract in 1993, he led the league in errors, was booed by Marlins fans, and lashed back testily:"People get jealous when you make a lot of money. They weren't bothering me when I was making $3.11 million a year."
Has an almost Hanley-esque ring to it.
4. Chad Ochocinco
This makes-a-meth-addled-Gary Busey-look-sane wide receiver plays for Cincinnati, alas, but don't forgot that he's originally a Miami Beach kid. He legally changed his name from Johnson to force the NFL into allowing the pseudo-Spanish version of his jersey number to adorn his back and he keeps a six-digit fund annually for paying fines from the NFL for touchdown celebrations. Don't even try to keep him off this list.
3. Dwyane Wade
The Miami Heat wunderkind was once considered NBA's golden boy. But between multiple lawsuits involving disastrous business partnerships and divorce allegations involving STDs and foreplay with a mistress in front of his children, Wade is now toting more baggage than, you know, he can fit in an overhead compartment. And the real show begins with his free agency this summer, when he'll play the coy princess to a legion of big-money suitors.
2. Ricky Williams
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So our perspective on the mysterious formerly football-abandoning Dolphins running back completely changed after watching the incredible ESPN documentary "Run Ricky Run." But no matter the reasons, he still walked away in the midst of a playing contract with little explanation and next surfaced performing Ayurveda in California. An enlightened diva, maybe, but a diva all the same.
1. Hanley Ramirez
This isn't the first time Hanley has behaved like a spoiled girl having an overstimulation meltdown at her eighth birthday party. Recall that last spring, he demanded a trade after the Marlins mandated that he cut his hair. Makes you wonder: What's Hanley, who is championship ring-less and not yet raking in the $20-million-plus annually he will eventually earn, going to act like when he actually has something to be arrogant about?