The Miami Heat Continues to Destroy Children at Basketball Camps
In journalism, three is a trend, so we're declaring it here first: There is now an epidemic of Miami Heat child abuse going on at basketball camps around the country.
First we take you back to the halcyon days of August 2010, when the Big Three was just formed. Dwyane Wade totally crushed some children's souls at a youth basketball clinic:
Then, earlier this month, LeBron James posterized a Belieber:
So now D-Wade has been filmed going all Mutombo on some tykes' asses during an innocent game of knockout. (0:48: Won't anybody think of the children?!)
We haven't yet heard of Bosh destroying any children's dreams at basketball clinics, but considering he sends out tweets like this, we bet he's totally manhandling kids at Magic meets, or perhaps throwing little kids off mountains in Second Life.
Man, if only Dirk Nowitzki was a snot-nosed prepubescent who believed in Santa.
Get the This Week's Top Stories Newsletter
Every week we collect the latest news, music and arts stories — along with film and food reviews and the best things to do this week — so that you’ll never miss Miami New Times' biggest stories.
- A Cuban-American Writer Grapples With New U.S. Policy, Family Legacy of Pain
- Marco Rubio on Cecil the Lion: "But What About Abortion?"
- Dolphins Bring Back Old Logo and Throwback Uniforms for One Game