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Yesterday somebody plunked what looks like a ten-by-eight-foot wooden box down in the middle of CocoWalk, with a sign on it that says, “Open December 9.” Like a bunch of kids at Christmas, Grovites were placing bets on the contents of the mystery package last night on the Grapevine. “What could be in there!?!” they wondered. A grand piano? A wax sculpture of Gloria Estefan? A caldron full of baby pterodactyl blood? Indeed it was anybody’s guess.
True, Riptide might be the only one who still cares. But we’d like to offer eternal Blogger’s Bragging Rights to whomever can guess what’s in the thing. Through meticulous scientific method, we have already deduced that -- while an excellent estimation -- none of the following is inside: A giant nonfat Starbucks cappuccino, a family of hippies-turned-lawyers, another abandoned kiosk, or a second Gap Kids. So those are off-limits. Okay, smart-ass? In all likelihood, it’s probably a holiday wreath or a red-nosed reindeer or something. But here’s hoping Miami is weirder than that.