The Five Worst Super Bowl Ads
Used to be, even when the football was less than thrilling, the Super Bowl ads would provide some sort of entertainment. Thank God that game was a near classic, because unless you happen to be a huge Bruce Springsteen fan, the whole affair would have been pretty dull. Sorry Madison Ave, you failed pretty majorly last night, and here are Riptide's choices for the five worst Super ads.
5.Doritos: Crystal Ball
Well, look. We've found the worst comic actor of all time.
4. CareerBuilder.com: Tips
My job doesn't make me cry constantly or day dream of punching small animals, but this commercial sure does.
3. Sobe: Lizard Lake
Sports stars, unlike movie stars or musicians, don't often face the "Sell Out!" accusations and are free to cash in on a ridiculous number of endorsement deals. But, c'mon, Ray Lewis, Justin Tuck and Matt Light, you have to draw the line somewhere, and doing ballet in bedazzled Lycra is well past that line. Then again, considering Dan Marion hawks Nutrisystem, and Jason Taylor shook it for Dancing with the Stars, this isn't really that bad. Hope you got a nice paycheck though, whores.
Danica, like the football goons in #3, you're a total product whore. But at least their commercial looks half way professional, unlike you and the guys (who are legitimately poor, so they're excused) in #2.
2. Cash4Gold.com: Here's Mooooney
If you're going to spend the $2.5 million for a Super Bowl spot you might want to spend more than $2.5 hundred on the production value.
1. Cars.com: David Abernathy
Rushmore sold me on Wes Anderson and Bill Murray's reinvention as an indie darling. This shameless ripoff ad unfortunately doesn't sell me on Cars.Com. Unoriginality, what else would you expect from a company owned by a consortium of newspaper chains?
Get the This Week's Top Stories Newsletter
Every week we collect the latest news, music and arts stories — along with film and food reviews and the best things to do this week — so that you’ll never miss Miami New Times' biggest stories.
- Poll: Florida's Senate Race Is Still a Wide-Open Mess
Sat., Aug. 1, 5:35pm
Sun., Aug. 2, 1:05pm
Tue., Aug. 4, 6:35pm
Wed., Aug. 5, 6:35pm
- 80-Yeard-Old Miami Man Stabs Wife to Death, Drives to Publix to Report It
- Heat Trades Napier and Shops Birdman and Chalmers, While Mike Miller Wants to Return