It's been 15 years since the song climbed the charts, but its infamous Miami-centric line continues to resonate with Dolphins' fans to this day. We're not a good team, and making the playoffs every few years doesn't mean anything if we don't win. But it's only fitting that our home games have become another excuse for Miami to party. From stripper poles to mini-concerts to tableside bottle service, a Dolphins game is 100 percent 305. We think that's why last week's loss against the Bears didn't really bother us. We were too distracted having fun.
It started off making our tailgate rounds--a stop by at a friend's BBQ, a beer with our cousin, and a visit the West 24 stripper pole. Anyone familiar with the west end of the parking lot understands that shit gets crazy. Every four cars, a DJ, and everyone pounds alcohol like it's Atlantic City circa prohibition, so when a group of friends set up a stripper pole, it just kind of made sense.
"C'mon girl, get up there," we heard from the crowd. "Take a shot, let's go."
We didn't have time to stick around, we didn't want to miss Juliette Lewis's performance with Joe Perry at Gate F, so we made our way towards the stadium and found a comfortable spot up front with other press folks. The Academy Award-nominated actress and Aerosmith guitarist were phenomenal, read about that here.
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SHOW ME HOW
Shortly after that, we used our credentials to access the Ford luxury lounge. Afrobeta had just finished performing as we were walking in, so we didn't bother staying long. The fine folks at Café Bustelo hooked it up with a much-needed shot of Cuban coffee, and were on our way.
After getting lost in the stadium tunnel, we made our way to section 226, better known as LIV. Earlier this year, the Dolphins partnered up with LIV nightclub to create the ultimate South Beach experience in the middle of Miami Gardens -- the West End Zone, to be exact. Now, we don't normally meet traditional SoBe club dress codes, but LIV Sun Life Stadium doesn't have a strict policy. The doormen were cool, hats and jerseys were plentiful, and drink prices weren't hiked up any more than the normal stadium rate of $9 for an imported beer. By halftime, we were sitting on a couch near the dance floor waiting for a waitress to bring us -- by us, we mean the people we were with -- a bottle of Johnny Walker. That's when we realized our night had to come and end.
Though we were technically at a football game last Thursday, we wouldn't be able to recap any of it. Not because we were any more or less drunk than usual, but because Sun Life Stadium is one big distraction. It's a distraction from the reality of Miami Gardens -- a community with one of the highest murder rates in the state -- and the Miami Dolphins -- a consistent stream disappointment. Oh well, at least we're too busy to cry.