Somewhere in this long ass article in the Boston Herald (once you get passed the part about Randy Moss being a complete asswipe and Tom Brady being a total shithead, you're golden) a league source says the Dolphins -- possessors of the number one overall pick -- are intrigued by BC quarterback Matt Ryan, "a poised and polished passer with a mind for the game to match his arm."
Forget that. If Bill Parcells is going to work his magic with the quarterback position, he really only needs to do what he's done for two Super Bowl-bound franchises already: Get Drew Bledsoe.
He got him when he was with the Pats. And he got him when he was with the Cowboys.
Both times led to Bledsoe either sucking royally or having his lungs fall into his lower intestines, which subsequently ushered in the Tom Brady and Tony Romo eras for those respective teams.
That's where the secret lies. It lies with the guy who starts after Bledsoe. It's magical! Talk Drew Bledsoe out of retirement, have him quarterback the first 6 to 8 games with that shitty Pacific Northwest indifference only he knows how to conjure up, then he can re-retire where he can go back to hunting moose and drinking Starbucks to his heart's content. John Beck will take it from there.
If you like this story, consider signing up for our email newsletters.
SHOW ME HOW
You have successfully signed up for your selected newsletter(s) - please keep an eye on your mailbox, we're movin' in!
Beck will then become the next Brady/Romo. But without all the excess doucehbaggery Brady brings or the surplus of distracting blond coochie Romo brings.
It's a win-win for everybody, really. -- Chris Joseph
For more on sports by Chris Joseph go to FinsNation.com