Sorry, Miamians, FIU Isn't Offering a Major in "305 'Til I Die"
Florida International University deserves a slow clap. Last Friday, the school pulled off one of the funnier Miami-related April Fools' Day pranks we've seen in a while.
In a video posted on its official Facebook page, the school proudly announced a new major focus in Miami studies, or, as it's officially termed, the "305 Til I Die" degree.
But there's always room for improvement in a new and growing major.
Allow us to make a few suggestions for an expanded curriculum:
- Financial planning from the diamond princess herself, Professor Trina.
- Experimental theories in how to defy gravity, taught by local plastic surgeons.
- Basic local geography taught by anyone besides LeBron "Taking My Talents to South Beach" James.
- Fiction by Rick Ross.
- "Getting Ahead Without Doing Much Work" by Marco Rubio (he needs a job anyway).
- Free Speech 101 by Uncle Luke.
- A class in how to deal with common local legal problems, like when your neighbor leaves dead roosters in your yard or when your wife owes money to a
malestripper, taught by Telemundo courtroom show Caso Cerrado host Ana Maria Polo.
- "Planning for Your Future" with Walter Mercado.