Silicon Beach: Tiger Woods Ranks Higher Than Jesus Christ and Santa Claus on Google
Tiger Woods will probably upstage Jesus Christ at every Christmas church sermon this holiday season, if we were to use Google as a gauge of human inquiry. At approximately 7 p.m. EST on Christmas Eve, the world golf champion garnered 50,000,000 return results on Google, whereas the Son of God lingered behind at 46,100,000. But hey, Woods is definitely an example of thou shall not sin, whereas Jesus won the endorsement deal of a lifetime from the big guy in the sky.
Santa Claus, whom we can track on Norad, can barely keep up with Jesus, coming in at a mere 23,300,000 results.
Joseph, foster father of Jesus Christ, humbly lags behind the jolly old guy at 3,810,000. As was to be expected, Mary, mother of Jesus Christ, could barely muster more than 1,270,000 results, never mind that she put forth the savior through her virginal womb.
God trumps them all -- a whopping 481,000,000 results on the search engine could mean that spiritual inquiry is way more important than where Tiger Woods put his balls while he was putting on the green.
Happy Holidays from Silicon Beach!
Get the This Week's Top Stories Newsletter
Every week we collect the latest news, music and arts stories — along with film and food reviews and the best things to do this week — so that you’ll never miss Miami New Times' biggest stories.
- Bill Advances That Would Ban Red Light Cameras in Florida
Wed., Feb. 10, 7:30pm
Thu., Feb. 11, 7:00pm
Fri., Feb. 12, 7:30pm
Sat., Feb. 13, 6:00pm
- Facebook Killer Derek Medina Gets Life in Prison, Vows to Sue Entire World
- Marco Rubio's Friend Didn't Know About Gay Porn House, Site's Owner Says