Shut up, New Orleans. Hurricane Miami Knows the Future.
And Gustav is headed in the city's general direction.
Well, all Riptide has to say is: "Shut up!
I mean, Miami has been ravaged by Andrew and whacked by Wilma. We know what major hurricanes are -- and we know that they are virtually never what they are claimed to be....We in South Florida are at the end of hurricane alley. Hey, we're a kind of defense for those wimps in New Orleans. The hurricanes that hit them are kinda like bowling balls with A LOT OF SPIN. Ours are the dead-on type.
I'm relaxed, and I wish all those Bayou types and reporters would join me.
Get the This Week's Top Stories Newsletter
Every week we collect the latest news, music and arts stories — along with film and food reviews and the best things to do this week — so that you’ll never miss Miami New Times' biggest stories.
- This $90 Million Aluminum Yacht is the Largest and Most Expensive Boat for Sale at...
Sat., Feb. 13, 6:00pm
Sat., Feb. 13, 7:00pm
Mon., Feb. 15, 7:30pm
Thu., Feb. 18, 7:30pm
- Miami Beach Threatens to Confiscate Bikes Locked to Street Signs, Twitter Goes Berserk
- Miami Is Now One of Airbnb's Top Five American Markets