Shut up, New Orleans. Hurricane Miami Knows the Future.
And Gustav is headed in the city's general direction.
Well, all Riptide has to say is: "Shut up!
I mean, Miami has been ravaged by Andrew and whacked by Wilma. We know what major hurricanes are -- and we know that they are virtually never what they are claimed to be....We in South Florida are at the end of hurricane alley. Hey, we're a kind of defense for those wimps in New Orleans. The hurricanes that hit them are kinda like bowling balls with A LOT OF SPIN. Ours are the dead-on type.
I'm relaxed, and I wish all those Bayou types and reporters would join me.
Get the This Week's Top Stories Newsletter
Every week we collect the latest news, music and arts stories — along with film and food reviews and the best things to do this week — so that you’ll never miss Miami New Times' biggest stories.
- Trump Sues Univision for a Half-Billion Dollars, Proves He's Totally Unfit for the...
- U.S.-Cuban Embassies May Be Reopening, but Appointing an Ambassador Might Become a Fight
- Heat Signs Dragic to Five-Year, $90-Million Deal; Still Pursuing Wade