The last time Shaq signed up to be South Florida cop, his application was a memorable catastrophe. In addition to claiming one of the greatest skill sets in law enforcement -- "Laptop computer, binnochulars [sic], master of surveillance" -- Shaq papered over his involvement in a violent Disney World altercation and his history of lawsuits. He was hired anyway.
Well, Shaq is at it again, this time with Doral PD, and New Times has obtained his latest application, filed two weeks ago. This time, Shaq is flouting Doral's strict rule against hiring anyone who smokes tobacco. It seems Shaq Fu enjoys a hookah now and again -- and the city says it will let him join the force anyway.
The City of Doral has one of the strictest anti-smoking policies in the county. Prospective employees like Shaq have to sign a "No Smoking Affidavit" that notes "The City of Doral does not employ individuals who now use or have used tobacco products within the past twelve (12) months."
Faced with the follow-up question of whether he had, in fact, smoked in that time, Shaq admits he has.
"A few times in the past year," he writes. "Hookah at special occasions, weddings, etc."
Not to worry. Shaq was hired anyway, says city spokeswoman Christina Baguer.
"He's a reserve officer, and he's not going to be paid," she says. "Since he's an unpaid employee, it doesn't apply to him."
As for the job itself, Shaq won't be joining any SWAT team busts, Baguer says. His role in Doral will be limited to "neighborhood policing" and speaking to kids at events.
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Here's his full application, also notable for his fantastic email address: email@example.com.