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Riptide's Ten Most Popular Posts of 2012: Porn Stars, Roadside Masturbation and the Miami Zombie

Another year down. Thousands more blog posts committed to Riptide's digital page. So what better way to look back at the previous year than to look at the posts that racked up the most page views on this here humble blog. Of course, that makes the year of 2012 look like it was dominated by the Miami Zombie, the Trayvon Martin case, and Florida women who like to masturbate on road sides.


1. Armed Neo-Nazis Now Claim To Be Patrolling Sanford, Say They Are "Prepared" for Post-Trayvon Martin Violence
"Asked if the patrols wouldn't just make things worse -- spark a race riot, for instance -- Schoep insists they are simply a "show of solidarity with the white community down there" and "wouldn't intimidate anybody."



2. Rudy Eugene Identified As Miami Zombie, Plus NSFW Photo of Attack's Aftermath
"Eugene's the naked man who was gnawing the face of a half-naked homeless man on the MacArthur Causeway near the Miami Herald headquarters Saturday afternoon. A Miami police officer shot and killed Eugene when he did not obey commands to stop feasting on his victim. The grisly incident generated international headlines and a world of snickering about a burgeoning zombie Apocalypse in Miami."

3. Local Porn Stars Will Make Good on Offer to Give Anyone a BJ After Heat Championship
"Somehow we feel like Oklahoma City is the real winner of this bet. Frankly, we think Charles Barkley and Skip Bayless are the real culprits who deserve to eat a million dicks, but, hey, whatever makes these girls and desperate dudes wanting a quick knob-slobbin' happy."

4. Woman Arrested for Masturbating on the Side of a Florida Highway
"Her self-pleasuring antics even slowed down traffic on the roadway. Holton didn't seem to mind. She was enjoying herself so much that when a police officer tried to put her pants back on, Holton bit the officer."

5. Trayvon Martin: No, That's Not His Facebook Page Showing "Gangsta" Photos
"If you haven't come across the photo to the right, you probably will in the next day or two. Gross racists and assorted other morons are claiming that it's from the Facebook page of Trayvon Martin, the teenager shot and killed by neighborhood watchman George Zimmerman in Sanford, and that somehow that has bearing on the case."

 

6. Naked Man Shot by Miami Police After Eating Other Man's Face
"So a naked a man was shot and killed by City of Miami police yesterday after he was caught literally chewing off the face of another man on a sidewalk near the MacArthur Causeway. That's really all you need to know to send your head off into a tizzy, but we'll just add more details to assure you that this was an actual thing that happened this weekend in Miami."

7. New Photos of Ronald Poppo, Face-Eating Victim, Released Post-Surgery
"Two weeks after having most of his face chewed off by a crazed Rudy Eugene near the MacArthur Causeway in downtown Miami, victim Ronald Poppo is slowly recovering. Jackson Memorial Hospital says the 65-year-old is awake and alert, and the hospital has released new photos of his face after undergoing treatment and surgery."

8. Ronald Poppo, Face-Eating Victim, Had Been Shot in Bayfront Park Back in 1976
"However, it's not Poppo's first trip to Jackson Memorial Hospital after receiving near-fatal injuries in downtown Miami. Poppo was shot at the Bayfront Park band shell and taken to the hospital back in 1976, according to court records."

9. Another Florida Woman Arrested For Getting Naked and Touching Herself In Front of Traffic
"Forget this so called "zombie apocalypse" -- Florida is currently in the throes of a full blown, naked ladies on roadsides apocalypse."

10. Griselda Blanco, Miami's Cocaine Queen, Assassinated In Medellin Butcher Shop
"Earlier today, a motorcycle-riding assassin pumped two bullets into the head of Griselda Blanco inside a Medellin, Colombia, butcher shop; ending the life of the queen of Miami's violent Cocaine Cowboys era. It was a bloody cinematic ending for the 69-year-old retired cocaine trafficker who was insatiably fond of the gangster epic The Godfather -- going as far as naming her youngest son Michael Corleone."

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