Rick Scott Releases Ad That Proves He Was Not Hatched From Egg
Despite winning the Republican nomination to run for Governor, Floridians may not know that much about the early life of Rick Scott, the self-funded Naples billionaire with a shady business past. Despite rumors to the contrary, he apparently is not Lord Voldermort. Nor did he run in Minnesota's 2008 senate election as a write-in candidate under the name "Lizard People." He is actually a real life human being with a mother and everything and has released a new ad to prove it. He even used to have hair! But, wait, is that ginger hair?
So Rick Scott wasn't always a rogue businessman. He used to be normal people, like you and me. He went to public school, and even used to have hair. Though, it's hard to tell from the tint of the photograph, but is that red hair? Was Rick Scott born a ginger? These are the tough questions he's going to have to answer if wants those coveted Eric Cartman and M.I.A. endorsements.
Get the This Week's Top Stories Newsletter
Every week we collect the latest news, music and arts stories — along with film and food reviews and the best things to do this week — so that you’ll never miss Miami New Times' biggest stories.
- Man Who Bought Record-Setting Miami Condo Also Set Real-Estate Marks in Chicago, New York
- Poll: Trump Top Among Florida GOP, but Would Lose to Bernie Sanders in General Election
- Miami Police Union President Fears "Black Panthers Threatening Police" With Open-Carry Law