Rick Scott really understands blacks
Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness once made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke addresses Gov. Rick Scott's alienation from African Americans.
Last week, good ole Gov. Ricky tried to explain to a group of 20 Democratic state legislators he was just like them. He noted that he "grew up in the same situation as you guys," explaining that he "started school in public housing," and his daddy "had a sixth grade education." Scott forgot to mention that he also drove a Gucci Cadillac and wore snakeskin leather shoes when he was a teenager. Our governor was just trying to remind the lawmakers that they are still black. That's all.
Unfortunately, Ricky didn't know that most of those black legislators did not grow up in public housing. Some come from middle-class or wealthy families. Ricky didn't understand that he was addressing the Huxtables. Maybe he was just conducting a test to find out how black those politicians really are. After all, if any of them were really from the neighborhood, they would not have been able to contain themselves. Someone from the ghetto would have gone Antoine Dodson on Scott's ass and told him, "Hey Rick, that is some fucked up shit you just said."
Instead the black lawmakers waited until after the lunch was over to voice their complaints. How dare he call us black? they must have thought. But they should cut Ricky some slack.
Maybe he really does empathize with African Americans who have a sixth grade education and live in the projects. Perhaps the governor is hinting that he'll soon scrap the FCAT. I mean, he's already announced a plan to end state support for two historically black colleges and abolish a state office that helps minority-owned businesses get state contracts. Maybe next week, we'll hear Scott say he is going to increase funding for D- and F-schools in the inner city, give them more resources, and hire the best teachers.
We already know he came up with the great idea of reforming welfare programs by drug-testing poor people. That's how he is going to create jobs and get back all the money he invested in his campaign. I can't wait for him to come out with his new healthcare company, Weed Welfare Finder, so I can purchase some stock when it goes public.
Follow Luke on Twitter: @unclelukereal1.
Get the Weekly Newsletter
Our weekly feature stories, movie reviews, calendar picks and more - minus the newsprint and sent directly to your inbox.
- Michael Pizzi Back in as Mayor of Miami Lakes After Wayne Slaton Steps Down
Fri., May 1, 6:35 p.m.
Sat., May 2, 1 p.m.
Sat., May 2, 5:35 p.m.
Sun., May 3, 1:05 p.m.
- Car Insurance in Miami-Dade Is 54 Percent More Expensive Than the Rest of Florida
- Marco Rubio: Gay Marriage Civil Rights Cases Are "Ridiculous and Absurd"