We don't recommend who you should vote for in elections the way other publications do, but vote for Al Goldstein for Broward sheriff. In his famous magazine, Screw, Goldstein recently ran a fake ad picturing Clarabell the Clown with Nick Navarro's face pasted over. It's making fun of Navarro's comment that "Al Goldstein is a clown, but he's a dangerous clown." Goldstein's written response: "A sheriff whose office manufactures crack cocaine which escapes into the community is a dangerous clown. A sheriff who grants... contracts to crony friends...is a dangerous clown. I think the big joke is that the sheriff's office buys used cars at new car prices - from a dealer who, surprise surprise, is a Navarro contributor. The problem is that the jokes are at public expense and I am not laughing." I happen to think Sheriff Nick is a very funny guy, but, then again, I don't live (or pay taxes) in Broward County.
The live at Washington Square CD is about ready, and a release party is slated for this Saturday at the club. The disc features nineteen local acts.
All you songwriters and wanna-be songwriters should be at the Nashville Songwriters Association International weekend seminar. It's two days (this Saturday and Sunday) of fun and education, critiques and performances, and it stars Rick Beresford (a Nashville writer who penned George Jones's smash "If Drinking Don't Kill Me, Her Memory Will"), Katherine Dines (children's songwriter who has been Grammy nominated), Pat Huber (executive director of NSAI), and Raul Malo (no idea who he is). Most of the action takes place at the Avalon and Majestic hotels in Miami Beach. Call 386-1307.
Whatever you might say about Penrod's, you have to give the Beach nightspot kudos for a new one-night that, it should be noted, is separate from Penrod's, though it takes place in that South Beach building. (That is, it's promoted independently by an outsider.) Beginning this Thursday, use the side entrance for a new Neil Raven project that will deck out the space in futuristic, laser-lighted, Mad Maxian decor, and stage local rock bands, beginning in February with Bergasse 19. Progressive DJ Rick (Fire & Ice) and 50-cent drafts are also part of the fun.
Nuclear Valdez played a couple of gigs upstate to help prepare for their next tour. At least one local musician who got to go, Kilmo, says, "The Nukes cooked up there last night. Boy, their stuff is really happening now." The boys in the band also dined with four national music writers recently.
And speaking of Kilmo and the Killers, they play at the Island Club during the Miami Rocks weekend. Because of that, they've come up with a brilliant idea to bolster attendance at Rocks on Thursday (January 30). They're chartering a bus to bring Browardians down here. The ride'll cost only five bucks, which includes free beer. (I think I'll drive up to Broward and then ride down on the bus.) Cheers is helping out and serving as departure point. Call 568-0175 or 561-7414.
This sounds awesome: Acting Out: 7 Unspeakable Acts at Island Club tonight (Wednesday). The Goods provide the opera, Frank Falestra is DJ, and the solo performance artists are Matthew Owens, Mary Luft, Joanne Butcher, Roly Chang-Barrero, Ric Cockerell, Mitch Rosenberg, and Matthew Zbornik. Call 865-9470.
Butthorn of the week: Maryland state fire marshal's office spokesman Bob Thomas for implying that MC 900 Ft. Jesus' "While the City Sleeps" contributed to arson problems in Baltimore. As MC Jesus responded, "Saying that a pop song can exacerbate a social problem is like saying that your bathroom mirror makes your acne worse."
The media circus: In two parts: 1) On Channel 4's late news the other night, Susan Lichtman teased the weather segment by saying, "You'll be cuddling up with Jack Frost tonight." Tom Randles picked that up for the next tease, something about Kathy Willets. "Speaking of frost," he said. Nice! 2) File this one under "butthorn." Mademoiselle magazine is publishing a list of ten Kennedy men and how they rank on a which-should-you-want-to-date scale. Very cute. And you people call me tasteless.
Pet Corner: A big butthorn to the jerks in Wilton Manors who forced Wray Parr to move his converted bus full of snakes from in front of his mother's home or face a $100-per-day fine. Funny that Wilton Manors has a problem with a busload of snakes but not with a city government full of even lower life forms.
Get the ICYMI: Today's Top Stories Newsletter Our daily newsletter delivers quick clicks to keep you in the know
Catch up on the day's news and stay informed with our daily digest of the most popular news, music, food and arts stories in Miami, delivered to your inbox Monday through Friday.