Damn it, Lionel, this would've been the perfect time. Why didn't you go on national television and hype it? Oh, that's right, you did. But America didn't listen, did it, Mr. Goldbart? America refuses to adopt your new calendar, the one that would equal out the number of days in each month, organize time-measured life, the one you described so eloquently when you appeared on that Jeopardy! tournament a month -- a 31-day-month -- ago. Another year of chaos.
A clique is forming around local bands including I Don't Know, Basketcase, and the Baboons, whose Blowfish says a movement is developing, and that all movements must have a name, so this one is the Bowel Movement. Join in January 16 at Rosebuds, when all three groups perform. Updates here.
The great Fleet Starbuck Blues Band jams tomorrow (Thursday) and January 20 at Mickey's on South Beach.
Going to Screw? Every Tuesday night Young William the Strange (who I think is Billy McKelvy of Young Turk fame) presents the club Screw in the old Washington Square space. Porno on the teevy sets, dancers nude -- "uh, well, not nude," says Young William -- and all the other elements of a rock-dance bar. Live bands will also be featured. Bil -- um, Young William -- says the venture will help the local music scene, and when he says that, he means it. I know. Time and actions have proven it. Updates will follow.
Time again for Lee Zimmerman's The Business of Music adult-education course at Palmetto High School (7460 SW 118th St.). Each Tuesday evening, beginning January 11, he'll explain how this crazy industry works (and, I would imagine, how it doesn't work). Call 235-1360.
Zen Dog's geared up for January, with shows next Tuesday (at East 50th Rock and Roll Cafe), January 18 (Rock Solid), and January 22 (Malone's).
Great show tomorrow (Thursday) at Stephen Talkhouse -- Second Son and Johnny Tonite.
They've shifted to that Dead-groove-jam sound in some of their new material, which makes the mighty Roadside Banditos all the more attractive as a live band. The new cassette, Rock N Roll Trenches, is rich and slick and fun and trippy and all like that. The New Jersey band is tearing through the area, with shows Friday at Shuckers, Saturday at Tobacco Road, and Sunday at the Talkhouse.
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Pretty weird, what with the MoJazz Cafe emerging as South Florida's premier jazz club, that Motown has named its new jazz label MoJAZZ.
Butthorn of the week: The music biz and the way time works. Many years ago a bass player with Stevie Ray Vaughan's Double Trouble worked on an album that wasn't released. Stevie went on to spend his career with other lineups, this bass player wound up a bartender. For obvious biz reasons, the album has now been released. The poor bartender has fought and fought for more royalty money. That's the short version of a complex morality play to keep in mind while pondering what all this means: Marilyn Manson built itself into a national act, recorded an album, and then, on the cusp of the big blitz, dumped bassist Gidget Gein. Meanwhile, Jeordie White is out of Amboog-a-lard, a band that also recently completed an album, -- New Hope. Bob Franquiz is returning to the Amboogie bass spot. There's been some rancor over the reason for White's departure. White has replaced Gein in Marilyn Manson, taking the stage name Twiggy Ramirez.
The media circus: The Miami Harold? More than once recently -- and I'm not the only one who notices, people point these things out to me, although, representative perhaps of their humility, not anyone connected to Natural Causes -- the daily paper has misspelled the name of the Causes's Arlan Feiles. It's Arlan. A-R-L-A-N. Arlan.
Pet corner: Riff West, who played bass with Molly Hatchet and Foghat, is putting together a CD featuring various artists to raise money for animal foundations. Riff expects the project to feature a mix of covers and originals performed by Pat Travers, k.d. lang, Bad Company, and others. Updates here.