This is time for no rock and roll, it's time for gluttony and invasion. Time for football and fawning over whichever grandfather has the most money. Pass the mashed and die. Thanks.
I'm lucky enough to have some corn (liquor) and to be lost in this maize. And to have some good friends who actually have a right to occupy this portion of the planet. We've known and loved Floyd and Nora for years. I remember once we all went to see a B.B. King show and we were the only white and only red people in the audience. Cool. Then the womenfolk got into it with some womenfolk who were sitting behind us and flabberjabbering while the King was playing. It nearly came to fisticuffs. Don't tell them, but me and Floyd, and the brothers sitting around us, found this more amusing than troublesome. Anyway, the point is, I'm thankful for one more Miccosukee, and now that four moons have passed I feel safe in saying congratulations to Mr. Osceola and Ms. Billie for bringing beautiful little Christie into this crazy mixed-up world. No baby photo, though. Some Native American (dumb ethnic label, but there's none better) clans and tribes A not the Miccosukee A know that a person loses part of his or her soul when photographed. I don't really care about culture or beliefs or photographs. I care about the soul.
Okay, a little rock and roll. Natural Causes returns from their Tanqueray tour for a show tomorrow (Thanksgiving) at Stephen Talkhouse, with Carla Hall also on the bill. (Hall joins Velvet Taxi next Tuesday at the 'House.) Thanks to the Causes for the cool postcard from Iowa (okay, so they mailed it from Colorado, but they wrote it in Iowa). Last week in this space we ran a photo of two humping frogs, the postcard features two little pigs in a basket. Karma, dude.
While I'm at it, thanks to Forget the Name for the cool postcard from New Yawk (okay, so they mailed it from Jacksonville, they wrote it in New Yawk). It shows the area of the original Washington Square on the front, where FtN has scrawled "Remember the Square!! R.I.P." They return from their tour for a show tonight (Wednesday) at the Talkhouse. They also play this Friday at Reunion Room.
The Keeper of the Keys is back. Stu Goldstein's classic oldies show (pre-Beatles rock) can now be heard every weeknight from 7:00 to 11:00 p.m. on WMRZ-AM (790).
Falling Corpses stand up this Friday at Coyote.
As the possibility of another Miami Rocks lingers in limbo and the South Florida Rock Awards date nears, the true Grammys of SoFla take place tonight (Wednesday) at Churchill's Hideaway. Yes, it's the BP Awards, though no one's quite sure if it's the seventeenth annual or eighteenth annual or what. As Dave Daniels so aptly puts it, "This is for the bands who maybe don't take themselves too seriously." Snatch and Grab, Frank E. Lance Band, and Dougie's Maiden Aunt provide the live entertainment. Admission is free. Another good point: Most of these extravaganzas take place on weekend nights, when many bands are booked to play elsewhere. Tonight expect most of the cool local outfits to be on hand, schmoozing and boozing and collecting their gold crushed beer-can trophies. I just hope that this year Rat doesn't throw the damn things at us like last time.
Jodi Horovitz is back from D.C. and joins Joel Perry of defunked F.O.C. for Sunday night jams at Cactus or Coyote or whatever that is on Sixth Street. Special guest this week is Raul Midon of Look Around fame.
From our friends at TCA: Valerie Archon (with her new band) plays her first Tobacco Road show, this Saturday with Mary Karlzen (back from her tour and TV appearances; what, Mary, no postcard?). On Thanksgiving Archon is at Plus 5. The mighty Goods bring rock to Kendall at the Cafe Iguana tonight (Wednesday).
It's not rock and roll, but relief for weary souls. The Lumpy Sue Acoustic MusicFest is this Friday at Greynolds Park (17530 W. Dixie Hwy. in North Miami Beach). Bring food, musical instruments, poetry, whatever. The operative word here, despite the fact they painted a VW at last year's event, is mellow. Good people, good sounds, good vibes, relax, be easy. Call 653-1974 for more info.
Massive rave activities this Saturday. Cosmic shuttles or somesuch will scoop your soul up at Miami Marine Stadium and take you to the island where Juan Atkins, C.J. Bolland, Krypto, Jr., DJ Three, and DJ Jeff will crank the rave sounds, including some acid jazz. For Artificial Intelligence, call 800-730-1103.
Always juggling its lineup, Rooster Head is looking for a guitarist. Call 768-0672.
Othello Molineaux, who might just be the greatest steel-drum player on the planet, will release a new CD, It's About Time, at Van Dome this Friday. He'll also perform. Othello has played with most of the greats -- Jaco, Hancock, Diz, Toots, Blakey, Ira, Brecker, Zawinul, and so on -- and has been involved in more albums than I have time to count right now.
Black Janet plays this Saturday at Rosebuds.
As Miami Rock lingers in limbo...skip it. The biggest music-industry event of the year, outside of the BPs of course, takes place this Friday and Saturday at Churchill's. It's Esync's Bored Shitless Music Fest, with live CD recordings taking place A Friday: Blanket, Postface, Load, Snatch the Pebble, Drive Choir, Whistling Tinheads, Demonomacy, and Saturday: Scraping Teeth, Holy Terrors, Harry Pussy, Kreamy 'Lectric Santa, the Funyons, Childress, Rubber Thongs, King Felix A and a bunch of workshops. I hear that Kreamy might record "Hot Stuff" with special guest Lionel Goldbart, who's other recent adventures are chronicled elsewhere in today's issue of New Times. For dope on Bored Shitless, call 757-1807 or fax 532-6463.
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Beverly Lewis's Soul Survival A not rock, but a variety of soul from the Sixties to the Nineties (hey, I didn't know there was any soul in the Nineties) occurs at Marlin's on Hollywood Beach on Thanksgiving.
Souled out: Melton Mustafa's Big Band performs this Friday at Philip Michael Thomas's Miamiway Theatre. The Genitorturers cut loose on Saturday at Plus 5, with two amazing Puerto Rican rock bands, Whisker Bees Quit and Erecti Coctopus. This Friday at Squeeze it's "Pante centsn del Profano," a collaboration of Six Silver Spiders and visual artist Christine Boehm not recommended for the weak of heart.
Butthorn of the week: The Baboons give a big one to the owner of Reunion Room for banning the band after an altercation involving a bouncer a few days before. Me, too, because last week I plugged the 'Boons's skedded show there, which didn't happen, which makes it look like I made another mistake, even though I didn't, as far as I know. Next week we'll explore this controversy in our annual (okay, first annual) "loose ends wrap-up" version of "Program Notes." For now, though, call Reunion before driving there and make sure the scheduled shows aren't canceled due to bullshit.
The media circus: The other night about 2:05 a.m. I was doing a little soul searching and watching one of those dumb "Crimetime After Primetime" shows on WCIX-TV (Channel 6). The bad guy (the guy I suspect was the bad guy) was chasing the hero when some late-night news show suddenly came on. "Technical problems," says a Channel 6 spokesperson. "And yes, we have gotten some complaints. And no, there's no way to find out who the bad guy was." What the hell. It's not rock and roll.