Within minutes of meeting Maria -- my waxer-to-be at the Medhur Day Spa -- she had me lying on my back with two wooden sticks pointing out of my nostrils. The ends of those sticks had been dipped in hot wax, which she then pushed into my virgin nose-holes with the entreaty: “Relax and breath through your mouth. We’re bringing sexy back.” Relax? WTF? How could I, with hot wax plugging my vital air passages? My mouth-breathing was ragged, desperate, and Lamaze-like while the wax cooled and hardened. Then Maria went one-two-YOINK, and my nostrils were almost hair free. A second round of wax-dipped sticks took care of the rest. Just when you think you’ve waxed every available orifice already, here comes something more interesting.
When I signed up for the “Women’s Package #1” at Medhur – which includes eyebrow shaping, under arms, upper lip, and nose – I assumed nose waxing meant the exterior, which I’d done before and was totally cool with. According to Maria, interior nose waxing makes you look younger, makes you look prettier and cleaner, and is just fine for almost anyone, unless you’ve got allergies. Almost all the hair removal at Medhur is done with a pink bubblegum colored no-strip wax (for what Maria refers to as “the peach fuzz”), green wax is reserved for thicker hair, like you-know-where. And Maria was very proud of her sick bikini waxing skillz. She was actually disappointed that I wasn’t visiting for a more intimate package. “You gotta come back for the bikini,” she insisted. “It’ll improve your sex life by 75 percent!” I LOLed and asked her where the statistic came from – “From me! From my clients,” she said with a sassy grin. I liked Maria instantly. She is mad cool, very reassuring, and through her no-nonsense banter, she made the procedure almost entirely painless.
Prices at Medhur are slightly more than some of the local wax chains, but as Maria explained, you pay a few bucks more for the places that don’t recycle their wax. Package #1 cost me $34, and a “naked bikini” costs $37 for ladies, $45 for men. Oh yeah, they do that there. Although Maria tells me, “for men, the chest hurts more than the bikini. I know. I can see it in their eyes.” Having watched Steve Carell scream and bleed in The 40-Year-Old Virgin, I totally believe her.
So how goes breathing through a hairless nose? Good – every breath feels extra deep and almost refreshing. But I am extremely aware of the slightest traces of moisture, and my latest paranoia is that I’ll laugh and like, blow a bubble I didn’t mean to or something. Would I do it again? Probably not. But I’ll definitely return to Medhur. They also do amazing manicures and pedicures, and sell a wicked selection of Havianas. Call 305-758-5750, or visit www.medhur.com. Oh, and bring cash – their credit card machine doesn’t work, and otherwise your trip will end with a visit to the barbershop/meat market next door to hit up their ATM.
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- Patrice Yursik