Poop Bandits Arrested For Defiling St. Pete's Finest Swimming Pool
Andrew Harris and Michael Cline: Your smarmy mug shots will live in poop-related infamy.
via Pinellas County Sheriff's Department
Two teens in St. Petersburg, Florida evidently decided to while away their fading halcyon days of youth with a time-honored American tradition: Sneaking into the fanciest hotel pool in town and pooping all over that bastard.
What, like you've never done it? (Looking at you Kim Kardashian.)
It was the perfect heist -- until the coppers caught up to the bowel-movement bandits lounging in the hot tub.
Just before midnight this Wednesday, 18-year-old Andrew Harris and his 19-year-old buddy Michael Cline snuck over a security fence and jumped into the pool at the Renaissance Vinoy Resort & Golf Club, according to the local ABC affiliate.
That's when things got nasty. A security video showed that Harris "defecated in his shorts, reached into his shorts and fling feces all over the pool," then grabbed more shit, swam to the bottom of the pool, and smeared a giant poopy X.
Hotel management, after presumably throwing up a little in their mouths, told police it would cost thousands of dollars to drain and clean the pool and to repay guests who wouldn't be able to swim for a few days.
Harris and Cline each face a felony charge of burglary.
Get the This Week's Top Stories Newsletter
Every week we collect the latest news, music and arts stories — along with film and food reviews and the best things to do this week — so that you'll never miss Miami New Times' biggest stories.