Monday, June 1, 2009 at 2:37 p.m.
Lord knows being an assistant state attorney can be a stressful job, but that doesn't mean you have to punch your pizza lady. When the attorney hits your arm carrying a big pizza pie, well that just isn't amore.
According to NBCMiami
, David Ranck, a Miami-Dade prosecutor, got in a verbal fight with a pizza delivery woman who couldn't get into his gated community (side not to those of you who need the false sense of security that comes with living in a pseudo-fortress: keeping the boogeyman out also means it's a lot harder to get the delivery person in). Things got so loud it woke the neighbors.
The lady told Ranck he'd have to come downstairs to get the pizza. The gumption! Having to walk to get the cheap, calorie-laden food that's delivered to you? Isn't this America? Maybe, Miami is really a third-world country after all. Someday they will find a way to have junk food teleported to us directly through our iPhones and we won't have to deal with these delivery people who can't even figure out how to get into our gated community.
So, Ranck took the walk, but then allegedly punched the women in the arm and knocked her uniform visor off.
Though, Ranck says the lady tapped him with her car first, but police are only charging Ranck. He wasn't taken in to custody (a state attorney in jail would have to avoid more than just the Noid), but he still faces battery charges.