Hey Coach Riley. Chris from the New Times here. Hi. Hello. How are you? Just wanted to drop you a note about tonight’s NBA Draft. If you’ve spent any time at all reading this here blog – and I know you haven’t – you know where I, dare I say we, stand on this whole Michael Beasley thing. You know, the kid with the 53.1 shooting percentage. The kid who averaged 26 points, 12.4 rebounds a game with a penchant for slamming each and every defense he faced right in the onions on a nightly basis. The kid who ranks higher than what Kevin Durant did this time last year. The kid that will be an unstoppable force in the NBA for years to come. You should totally draft that guy.
Remember how back in 2003 you wanted to draft Chris Kaman? There’s still a large contingent of Heat fans that think that was based on a dare. But it’s true. You seriously considered drafting the whitest man on earth. And while there’s nothing wrong with that per say (actually, unless he’s Larry Bird, yea there is), he’s not Dwyane Wade. Not by a long shot. The glory that was the 2006 season would have never happened. No Shaq in a Heat uniform, no Finals, no 15 Strong, no champagne, no parade down Brickell Avenue, no awkward white-guy dance in front of thousands forever immortalized on YouTube. Yet, you came to your senses and drafted D-Wade instead. And everything was rainbows and unicorns after that. Remember that? That was awesome.
Well Coach Riley, it can be again. Once you come to your senses. Again.
I know. OJ Mayo is a kick-ass player in his own right. And having Shawn Marion not opt out has given you some flexibility. Getting a package of great players and a lower pick and still being able to come away with Mayo would be ideal. It would, in fact, be fan-fucking-tastic. I even mentioned some draft-trade scenarios myself yesterday. And there seems to be a bevy of teams ready and willing to make a deal.
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SHOW ME HOW
But let’s keep this simple.
If teams fail to deliver a knock-your-socks-off trade offer, and we’re stuck at number two, well then you have to take Beasley. You just have to. As the guy who subjected us to Ricky Davis and Mark Blount for 82 games last year, it’s your duty. And as an American, it’s your duty. In fact, if you pass up the chance to take Beasley – a once in a decade talent – then the terrorists have already won.
Don’t let that happen, Coach Riley. Draft Michael Beasley. Do it for America.
- Chris Joseph