OJ, Phone Home
You tried to hustle us with that book about if you did it.
And now you're being investigated for trying to steal from a casino.
You've got a problem. You shouldn't be living in Kendall. You should get yourself to a nunnery. And fast. Or maybe to a kleptomaniac/killer/bad writing treatment center for guys who have run 2000 yards in a year. There's one outside the Football Hall of Fame in Canton,. we hear.
Or at the very least, rip off something in Miami next time. This is the weird news capital of the world and we like it that way.
Get the This Week's Top Stories Newsletter
Every week we collect the latest news, music and arts stories — along with film and food reviews and the best things to do this week — so that you’ll never miss Miami New Times' biggest stories.
- Post-Turkey Critical Mass Heads Through East Little Havana, Liberty City, Wynwood Tonight
- The Five Best Value Contracts in South Florida Sports
- Santa’s Enchanted Forest Protest Planned Over Animal Shows