Obama, Jesus and Tebow Allegedly Team Up to Harass Florida Man
If Barack Obama is a secret Muslim, then why has he apparently joined a gang with Jesus? Yes, according to requests for restraining orders filed in Aluchua County John D. Gilliand Obama, Jesus of Nazareth and Tim Tebow have teamed up to constantly harass the man by appearing in odd places and flashing threatning gang symbols at him.
"I was trespassed from the Kangaroo Gas Station on University for saying T-Bo sucks," Gilliand wrote in the petition for injunction for protection against repeat violence against Tebow. "I personally hate any type of exercise although I feel Billy Blanks has a wonderful video."
Gilliand makes reference to Tebow, Obama and Jesus as part of gangs or making gang symbols at him. He states in all three that he is not a Gator and never went to Florida.
Well, at least we know Tae Bo master Billy Blanks hasn't fallen into gang activity.
Get the This Week's Top Stories Newsletter
Every week we collect the latest news, music and arts stories — along with film and food reviews and the best things to do this week — so that you’ll never miss Miami New Times' biggest stories.
- Bill Advances That Would Ban Red Light Cameras in Florida
Fri., Feb. 12, 7:30pm
Sat., Feb. 13, 6:00pm
Sat., Feb. 13, 7:00pm
Mon., Feb. 15, 7:30pm
- Facebook Killer Derek Medina Gets Life in Prison, Vows to Sue Entire World
- Marco Rubio's Friend Didn't Know About Gay Porn House, Site's Owner Says