Until recently, Jeffrey Goldmacher was just another Republican running for local office, a bald, mustachioed fellow promising to "streamline government" and cut spending. Now, thanks to an attack flier mailed to voters in his Orlando-area district, Goldmacher has become a true pioneer: An openly nudist conservative.
"At least there's one candidate who believes in transparency," he told an audience recently. "I have nothing to hide and no place to hide it."
The flier -- which is hilarious in its own right -- contrasts a grainy photo supposedly of a naked Goldmacher snorkeling with an obviously disapproving Ronald Reagan. Sent by a women's conservative group, it demands that voters "Say yes to decency and no to nudism and atheism on our county commission."
Goldmacher hasn't run from the attacks, though. Instead, he emphasizes that he lives in a "clothing optional resort" -- the Cypress Cove Resort and Spa in Poinciana -- not a "nudist colony."
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"Only lepers and ants live in colonies," Goldmacher tells the Orlando Sentinel.
Goldmacher, a 56-year-old retiree, also disputes the claim that he's an atheist -- he says he's Jewish but doesn't belong to a synagogue -- and says he won't promote nudism as a commissioner.
Nudist Republicans. We may have at last discovered the key swing vote in November's elections. When's the last time you went skinny dipping, Mittens?