North Beach, you're it, baby. Lord knows I've wandered, slumming the Pubbelly restaurants of South Beach, trolling the art galleries of Wynwood, diving the waters of Key Biscayne. But listen, North Beach, I always come back to you. You're what I want. You're what I need. You're it.
North Beach: the least-recognized and most-misunderstood neighborhood in all of livable-Miami. (Sorry Hialeah, I love you for the Red White And Blue Thrift Shop, but I hate you for your traffic.) Whereas other neighborhoods got swag and pinanche, North Beach is subtle and understated. It's incredible not for what it has. But for what it doesn't.
It has Woody Allen charm: it creeps on you. At first you're all like, where the bars at? But then, you be like, I can drive down the streets here? I can live here for what amount? Then you realize North Beach is your destiny. You come to appreciate it for many reasons. But, specifically, for the following ten.
10. North Beach has few tourists. This place isn't suffocated by droves of tourists, which chokes so many other parts of the city. This means you can stumble to the corner store for your morning cafecito without encountering some 65-year-old white dude wearing a safari hat, cargo shorts, and talking in an Australian accent.
9. There are places to park. Actual places. Not like those instances where you slam your car into a spot several feet too small and hope it goes unnoticed that your hood is sticking out like a jagged tooth. Indeed, there are spots to be found up here. Not only for your car, but your girlfriend's car, and her parents car when they come to visit. Best of all? You don't need to pay the city anything, and you don't need a pass.
8. All the $$$ you're saving. What's that? It costs $1,000 for a 900-square-foot apartment that comes with a pool? And you're a five-minute walk from the beach? This is not South Beach. When you're looking for an apartment, you don't need to lug around a cashier's check when looking at apartments because fifty people are waiting to take it if you don't. Living costs are way down, and so is the competition.