- President Obama found time to call up Gitmo and say, "Yo, can we just chill for a minute?" and all proceedings were instantly frozen. [Herald]
- Police finally caught this horrible baby-punching would-be car thief. [NBC6]
- Here are all sorts of pictures from the inaugural balls. Do we like Michelle's dress? Do we like Kanye's red microphone? [Gawker]
- Look what all of these bleeding-heart, peacenik liberals did to D.C. They have absolutely trashed it. [Wonektte]
- Randy Shannon is not content with sucking at one job, so he might take on another after OSU snaps up the Canes' defensive coordinator. [Herald]
- The Miami Heat have so many different ways in which they can get rid of Shawn Marion. [Herald]
- Authorities think Art Nadel, the latest scandalous Florida hedge fund manager, planned to disappear. [AP]
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