New Career Options For Carlos Alvarez and Natacha Seijas
Today is it for Miami-Dade Mayor Carlos Alvarez and County Commissioner Natacha Seijas, who are on the verge of becoming the first county elected officials to get recalled since the '70s. An official poll and our informal poll show the two politicians are going down for the count, victims of citizen outrage over County Hall arrogance and abuse of power. But considering Alvarez and Seijas aren't ready for retirement, we came up with some new career opportunities both will find quite advantageous.
We all know how much Alvarez hearts German-made luxury rides, so he may want to try selling BMWs. Just don't give him an application for Braman Motors.
With a personality that would make Cruella Deville look like a PETA activist, Seijas just might enjoy life as a furrier.
Well it's not like Alvarez can go back to being a cop, but maybe his pal Miami-Dade Animal Services Director Sara Pizano could use another hand collaring the county's stray dogs and cats.
Seijas is always harping about feeding the elderly good chow, so she should open up her own hot dog stand to serve those Hialeah viejitos she's taken advantage of.
We hear the Florida Marlins are looking for some good honest applicants to work the parking garage at the team's new stadium.
We think the producers of Operation Repo should replace the show's resident Chola repo woman with the Chonga county commissioner.
Alvarez is going to have a lot more time on his hands to hit the gym so he might as well make the most of it and train for the Mr. Olympia tournament.
Seijas and Alvarez should join forces to become the greatest tag team ever and save the children's orphanage from el gran luchador Ramses.
Get the This Week's Top Stories Newsletter
Every week we collect the latest news, music and arts stories — along with film and food reviews and the best things to do this week — so that you'll never miss Miami New Times' biggest stories.