Nancy Pelosi Doesn't Care About Your Human Football Sports
This wicked, evil lady-thing who goes by the Earth name of "Nancy Pelosi," but is actually known as Empress Bugeyes from the 5th dimension planet Stalintopia, does not understand the earthly pleasure of football. Because she does not posses human emotion she will never experience the thrill of rooting for teams vaguely connected to your alma matter or general geographic vicinity (besides even if she could, the 49ers don't provide much of a thrill). So she cannot fathom why any one would dare ask her to take time from her master plan of enslaving innocent white, rich people and making them the personal butlers of black welfare queens everywhere to watch one of these silly little pigskin game.
Football rights hero Rep. Cliff Stearns (R-Fla.) propossed that House business be postponed thursday night and friday so that members from Florida and Oklahoma could attend the BCS game here in Miami, but Pelosi's small little communist brain could not comprehend how this was a responsible request and denied it.
Get the This Week's Top Stories Newsletter
Every week we collect the latest news, music and arts stories — along with film and food reviews and the best things to do this week — so that you’ll never miss Miami New Times' biggest stories.
- Santa’s Enchanted Forest Protest Planned Over Animal Shows
- Brightline, New Rail Link Between Miami and Orlando, Explained
- Facebook Killer Derek Medina Found Guilty