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Mugshots Friday: The Bloodiest Man In Miami

Every Friday, Riptide brings you the most eye-catching mugshots taken the previous week (or thereabouts) in Miami-Dade County. Yes, there is some mockery of bad neck tattoos, but also adulation directed at perps who just plain look more badass than we ever will. This is the italicized intro to that series. For mugshots from Broward and Palm Beach, check out The Pulp.

Mugshots Friday: The Bloodiest Man In Miami


Arrested: 10/13

Charged with: Battery, false imprisonment
Amazingly, this guy isn't even the most beat-up entry in this week's edition. That honor goes to ...

Mugshots Friday: The Bloodiest Man In Miami


Arrested: 10/16
Charged with: Disorderly intoxication, battery, resisting arrest with violence
This fellow, who looks like he just went 12 rounds with Manny Pacquiao in a haunted house while filming a remake of Carrie. All while drunk, too. He probably had one too many bloody marys! Hah! Get it! Seriously though, this man needs medical attention.

Mugshots Friday: The Bloodiest Man In Miami


Arrested: 10/16
Charged with: Battery, assault
I don't blame this woman for the assault and battery charges. I'd try to beat the crap out of whoever gave me a haircut like that, too.

 

Mugshots Friday: The Bloodiest Man In Miami


Arrested: 10/17
Charged with: Battery
Nothing quite complements a hard-ass look at the camera like a hospital gown put on backwards.

Mugshots Friday: The Bloodiest Man In Miami


Arrested: 10/13
Charged with: Battery
Speaking of pissed off looks: How could a woman with a butterfly AND a flower tattooed on her look so unhappy? I guess you never truly can judge a book by its cover.

Mugshots Friday: The Bloodiest Man In Miami


Arrested: 10/13
Charged with: Driving with a suspended license
At least this guy doesn't look like he wants to murder someone, which is weird, given that it looks like a whole preschool grabbed some magic markers and went to town on his neck.

 

Mugshots Friday: The Bloodiest Man In Miami


Arrested: 10/13
Charged with: Trespassing
I'm liking the blend of religious iconography with the women on either side who look like their designs were stolen off a 1970s Marvel comic or a airbrushed van. It's an inspiring tribute to women.

Mugshots Friday: The Bloodiest Man In Miami


Arrested: 10/17
Charged with: Battery (warrant case)
Sometimes in life, you're the laughing clown, and sometimes, you're the sad one. Today, this guy is the sad clown.

Mugshots Friday: The Bloodiest Man In Miami


Arrested: 10/16
Charged with: Trespassing, disorderly conduct, threatening a public servant
Methinks Nancy isn't going to be too happy about this one.


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