MORE

Mugshots Friday: Human Trapper Keeper

Every Friday, Riptide brings you the most eye-catching mugshots taken the previous week (or thereabouts) in Miami-Dade County. Yes, there is some mockery of bad neck tattoos, but also adulation directed at perps who just plain look more badass than we ever will. This is the italicized intro to that series.

Mugshots Friday: Human Trapper Keeper

Arrested: 4/02

Charges: Resisting an Officer without Violence

This guy has a Nike logo tattoo on one cheek and a Yankees logo tattoo on the other? He's basically the human equivalent of a middle school boy's trapper keeper.

Mugshots Friday: Human Trapper Keeper

Arrested: 3/30

Charges: Operating a Business without a License

Apparently this guy took the "Well if I can't grow hair on the top of my head I'll grow hair everywhere else on my face" approach to balding.

Mugshots Friday: Human Trapper Keeper

Arrested: 3/31

Charges: Grand Theft and Petit Theft

Are there really this many horrible eyebrows out there in Miami-Dade, or is it just that people who don't ever care about their own damn eyebrows don't care to obey the law? Come on people!

Mugshots Friday: Human Trapper Keeper

Arrested: 4/01

Charges: Burglary and Battery

Gotta appreciate a man who still dresses up for his job. Even if that job is a burglar. Even if his idea of dressing up is a tuxedo t-shirt.

Mugshots Friday: Human Trapper Keeper

Arrested: 4/02

Charges: Grand Theft 3rd Degree

What a striking juxtaposition of grandmotherly fashion and hardened criminal facial expression.

Mugshots Friday: Human Trapper Keeper

Arrested: 4/03

Charges: Burglary, Armed Robbery, False Imprisonment and Grand Theft Auto

Yes, yes, go ahead and tattoo half your face up but make sure that goatee is all nice and orderly.

Mugshots Friday: Human Trapper Keeper

Arrested: 3/28

Charges: Strongarm Robbery, Petit Retail Theft

Some fabulous woman probably once said, "a woman can never have too many men or too much jewelry." Fair enough. But we do firmly believe a woman can have too much jewelry pierced into her face.

Mugshots Friday: Human Trapper Keeper

Arrested: 3/29

Charges: Petit Theft

No, seriously. Stop it with this.

Mugshots Friday: Human Trapper Keeper

Arrested: 3/31

Charges: Aggravated Assault with a Firearm and Cannabis Possession.

You ever look at a mugshot this week and have a hard time deciding "Ultra or not Ultra?" Oh, maybe that's just us.

Follow Miami New Times on Facebook and Twitter @MiamiNewTimes.


Sponsor Content