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Mugshots Friday: Everyday We Hussalin'

Every Friday, Riptide brings you the most eye-catching mugshots taken the previous week (or thereabouts) in Miami-Dade County. Yes, there is some mockery of bad neck tattoos, but also adulation directed at perps who just plain look more badass than we ever will. This is the italicized intro to that series. For mugshots from Broward and Palm Beach, check out The Pulp.

Mugshots Friday: Everyday We Hussalin'

Arrested: 8/25
Charged with: Burglary, robbery
There should be a rule that, if you can't spell the word you want tattooed on yourself, you can't get it. Then again, that would kill the comedy of guys like this spelling bee genius trying to go street with how hard he hustles, but running out of steam after the first three letters. Phonetics: Not really a great way to get a tattoo done.

Mugshots Friday: Everyday We Hussalin'

Arrested: 8/24
Charged with: Criminal mischief, resisting arrest
I'm hoping that this woman was arrested for tampering with a Coca-Cola vending machine or kidnapping people to take part in taste tests for Sierra Mist. More likely than not, this is Pepsi's viral attempt at reaching that always-hard-to-please felons market.

Mugshots Friday: Everyday We Hussalin'

Arrested: 8/24
Charged with: Battery
And the branding exercise continues, this time with a man who clearly enjoys the finer things in life permanently inscribed on him: Life, love, and Beats by Dr. Dre headphones.

 

Mugshots Friday: Everyday We Hussalin'

Arrested: 8/24
Charged with: Petit retail theft
Fun fact: "Ms. McCray" is not this woman's real name, which leads me to believe this is some kind of "Sasha Fierce" alternate identity thing. How this woman couldn't come up with anything better than "Ms. McCray," though, I don't know.

Mugshots Friday: Everyday We Hussalin'

Arrested: 8/24
Charged with: Burglary
The perils of being the third trombonist in a ska-revival band in this day and age: The gig checks don't stretch too far. And if you're thinking that I made a ska joke solely to set up the word "trombonist:" You know me far too well.

Mugshots Friday: Everyday We Hussalin'

Arrested: 8/24
Charged with: Petit retail theft
Possible factor for arrest: Purple haze all in her brain, which made it so that things just didn't seem the same. When reached for comment, the woman said, "I'm acting funny, but I don't know why." Her excuse? "I was looking to get a step-ladder, so I could kiss the sky."

 

Mugshots Friday: Everyday We Hussalin'

Arrested: 8/25
Charged with: Aggravated battery, resisting arrest
"Mugshots Friday used HEADBUTT!" "It's not very effective..."

Mugshots Friday: Everyday We Hussalin'

Arrested: 8/29
Charged with: Battery, resisting arrest with violence
Always sad to see one of the guys from Milli Vanilli fall on hard times. I assume we can blame this one on the rain and move on.

Mugshots Friday: Everyday We Hussalin'

Arrested: 8/29
Charged with: Petit theft
I'm looking forward to this guy being cast as the wacky next-door neighbor in a sitcom with the "Hussal" tattoo guy. They can call it "Best Buds!"

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