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Mugshots Friday: Doily Shirts, Baby Man, and Misspelled Tattoos

Every Friday, Riptide brings you the most eye-catching mugshots taken in Miami-Dade County in the week previous. We then comment on bizarre sartorial choices and weird neck tattoos from the cloistered safety of our home office. This is the italicized intro to that series.

Mugshots Friday: Doily Shirts, Baby Man, and Misspelled Tattoos

Arrested: 1/18

Charged with: Grand theft

Is that called a doily shirt?

Mugshots Friday: Doily Shirts, Baby Man, and Misspelled Tattoos

Arrested: 1/15

Charged with: Battery, disorderly intoxication

Quick, somebody stuff some mashed bananas in his mouth. He must have done a dookie.

Mugshots Friday: Doily Shirts, Baby Man, and Misspelled Tattoos

Arrested: 1/19

Charged with: Drug trafficking

Who do you blame? This lady? The tattoo artist? Or the Miami-Dade Public School system?

Mugshots Friday: Doily Shirts, Baby Man, and Misspelled Tattoos

Arrested: 1/19

Charged with: Forgery

With her face tattoo and her Billy Idol haircut, it's like she refuses to be seen as a nice old lady. Then why do we have the urge to give her a Hallmark card, talk loudly around her, and take her to a Saturday matinee?

 

Mugshots Friday: Doily Shirts, Baby Man, and Misspelled Tattoos

Arrested: 01/14

Charged with: Making a threat against a public servant, resisting an officer

What's a nice girl like you doing in a place like this?

Mugshots Friday: Doily Shirts, Baby Man, and Misspelled Tattoos

Arrested: 01/18

Charged with: Disorderly conduct

God, being a teenager sucked.

Mugshots Friday: Doily Shirts, Baby Man, and Misspelled Tattoos

Arrested: 1/16

Charged with: Petty theft

We only included this mugshot so that we could write the words "Steven Tyler" and score untold American Idol Googlers.

Mugshots Friday: Doily Shirts, Baby Man, and Misspelled Tattoos

Arrested: 01/13

Charged with: Grand theft auto

Being a tattooed accused criminal is like an arms race. You can either become a generic video game character like this guy...

Mugshots Friday: Doily Shirts, Baby Man, and Misspelled Tattoos

Arrested: 01/14

Charged with: Burglary

Or you can get all nonsensical with randomly placed four leaf clovers and Asian characters like this dude...

Mugshots Friday: Doily Shirts, Baby Man, and Misspelled Tattoos

Arrested: 1/18

Charged with: Marijuana possession

Or you can do as Our Hero did and just say: Fuck it, I'm going to get the worst neck-job ever shown on Mugshots Friday. To save you some squinting, the tattoo on our left says "Blood Money". The other thing says "Killafornia".

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