Mugshots Friday: A Hitler Moustache, Seriously Horrifying Face Tattoos, And Our Judgmental Mom
Every Friday, Riptide brings you the most eye-catching mugshots taken in Miami-Dade County in the week previous. Yes, there is some mockery of bad neck tattoos, but also adulation directed at perps who just plain-out look more badass than we ever will . This is the italicized intro to that series.
Charged with: Possession of a controlled substance.
They say you know you've made it when your look starts showing up in mug shots. Congratulations, Biebs!
Charged with: Possession of cannabis, drinking in public
Uh... you too, Hitz!
Charged with: Battery
We know you thought this was a classy operation. But it's still the internet, and if we see a hot chick we're contractually obliged to post her photos, along with the word "hottttttt". (Seven "t"'s is the industry standard.)
Charged: Carjacking, aggravated battery
Sometimes when we get really angry we say we hope you back in the next life as Pedro Jimenez. Now you know what we're talking about.
Charged with: Armed burglary, grand theft, possession of a weapon by a felon
Charged with: Strongarmed robbery
Maybe it's just the middle-aged dad in us, but we want to let our little daughter swing some plastic monkeys from those things.
Charged with: Child molestation
Hey, it's the dangers of the internet personified.
Charged with: Burglary
Mennonite basketball player... Black samurai Forrest Gump Fuck it, we're stumped.
Charged with: Aggravated Assault
Ma?! This is exactly what we're talking about: How come you're the one in the mug shot, but we're the ones who feel like we're being judged?
Get the This Week's Top Stories Newsletter
Every week we collect the latest news, music and arts stories — along with film and food reviews and the best things to do this week — so that you’ll never miss Miami New Times' biggest stories.
- Facebook Killer Derek Medina Found Guilty
- St. Louis Rams Player Stedman Bailey Expected to Survive After Drive-By Shooting in...
- With Beckham's Little Havana Stadium Just About Dead, Overtown Could Be Next