Friday, February 8, 2013 at 9 a.m.
Every Friday, Riptide brings you the most eye-catching mugshots taken the previous week (or thereabouts) in Miami-Dade County. Yes, there is some mockery of bad neck tattoos, but also adulation directed at perps who just plain look more badass than we ever will. This is the italicized intro to that series.
Charges: Resisting an Officer with Violence to His Person
We were going to make a joke about what the initials on his neck could stand for, but we can't even make out what that first one is supposed to be.
Charges: Strongarm Robbery
Mugshot hair dos!
Charges: Burglary of an Unoccupied Building
Mugshot hair don'ts (Sorry, Mugshots Friday just really wants to get picked up as a regular feature on Glamour.com this week).
Charges: Aggravated Assault with a Weapon
No, but seriously, is she in a cult or does she just get a good deal at a cult's hair salon?
Charges: Cocaine Possession
Why didn't you follow the rules of your own Shake Shack T-shirt? Burger + Fries + Shake = Thumbs Up Super Good Happy Time! You add drugs into the equation, you never know what you're going to get. It's like X in an algebra problem, and when "arrested" is on the other side of the equal sign, you know X was a negative number.
Granted, Shake Shack is only slightly less addictive than crack.
Charges: 3rd Degree Grand Theft
Mughshots Fridays maintains a shred of dignity by not naming names, but we can't help it if suspects get their own name tattooed on their chest.
Charges: Disorderly Conduct, Trespassing and Battery on an Officer
You think he looks kinda sad because he just got arrested, but mostly he's just pissed his baby mohawk is gonna look so pathetic in his mugshot. Follow Miami New Times on Facebook and Twitter @MiamiNewTimes.