As always, there were plenty of undeniably idiotic contenders for this week's title, a couple of whom might have even taken top honors on a different week. Take, for example, this Totally Cliche South Florida Medicare Scammer, who allegedly blew millions on exotic cars- who's to say Ihosvany Marquez doesn't deserve the hardware for his mantle? (The trophy, if you're curious, is a bronze bust of former Panamanian Gen. Manuel Noriega.)
But when you have a moron like Mansor Mohammad Asa submitting his entry, there's little reason to hand out honorable mentions or silver medals. After all, when you're staring at a 1,000-pound blue ribbon hog at the state fair, do you really care about the 800-pound sow the next stall over?
Yesterday, Riptide's esteemed Tim Elfrink gave us some details on the nimwit who briefly caught the jittery nation's attention when he was arrested by Miami-Dade Police for loudly expressing his desire, while tarmac-bound on a flight scheduled to leave for Detroit, to kill all Jews.
What's really incredible is that that statement made more sense than anything else Ohio resident Asad bellowed on Wednesday night.
The poor guy was totally racist in accusing other people of being racist to him, and he wasn't even clear on which races he wanted to be racist against. He channeled Mel Gibson, David Duke, Dead Prez, and Osama bin Laden in a mind-melting tirade that reads like schizophrenic maximum-security slam poetry set to a Taser-bolt beat. Cops didn't catch what he was screaming in Arabic, but let's run back the English-language highlights:
"I'm Palestinian and I want to kill all the Jews!"
"I'm not afraid of you cops, I've gotten in fights with cops in Ohio and broke their arms in three places. I've broken skulls too!"
Watch out Asad: Three Cleveland police officers in arm-slings and head-bandages are said to be considering that a confession and are filing extradition papers as we speak.
"Go back to Africa, you white racist cop!"
"Allah, it's OK if you hurt the fat white racist cop."
Dude, Allah's just as confused as we are.
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"I could and will find out your home address and bring this fight to you. Take your ass back to Africa!"
Charged with threats against a public servant, disorderly conduct, and resisting an officer without violence, Asad now presumably has a lot of 'splaining to do to prison gangs representing the 18 different nationalities he offended during his legendary freestyle session.
Only one question remains: Just what was Asad drinking at the airport Chili's?